Is there the name of the people?
The funeral was very sad.
My sister, I have to add. My sister was much more affected by the whole situation. She was the typical fatherchild, and I was the mother child, and my sister was more and more affected, and she was also increasingly blaming someone. The guilt was simply the borderline, and I think my sister could never accept that and always looked to my mother to blame.
And that was also shown in growing up. That my mother became more and more unpopular to my sister
Yes, in any case we grew up then, all together in the house in Geiswald. I think I lived there for eight years. There have been good times, bad times, and confusing times. I was in school, in a normal elementary school, and was bullied by the teacher.
In fact, there was a nice anecdote. I was crying in the school yard a few days after my father died, and she came up to me and said, "It was only your father who died. Be quiet now." And that was such an example. She used to yell at me too, and then one day I was just… when she yelled at me - my mother had told me beforehand that if she yelled at me again, "Just go, go home". And then I did that. And nobody called the police that I wasn't there, that I just left. My mother didn't know anything. I went home, called my mom on a friend's phone. Then she drove to school with me, and the police had to come too, because of a violation of the duty of supervision and so I was no longer at this school. That was the cut. And then I went to a Waldorf school. I have to say: My mother's best decision, that she got the idea not to send me to a normal school and that there was one at all. Also that we were given the opportunity to attend a private school even as a socially difficult family.
It was the best way. The school also had its rough edges.
But for me as the creative person I've always been, it was simply the best school you could find.
And that's where I made friends, including my best friend, who I still have now, Max.
Yes, I wouldn't want to miss it either, and the school gave me a lot and took little away. Of course, I also had friction with teachers. I do not know. I've always had problems with adult people, rather than with students.
I had fewer problems with students than with adults. For some reason. Every school year there was a teacher I didn't get along with.
But it was a good time anyway.
I didn't always get on well with my stepmother, just to come back. There was a lot of friction. I now get along very well.
Another thing worth mentioning: She wasn't a lesbian before, just like my mother. Neither were they bi. She was in America for ten years, had children there, could only take one back to Germany with her.
Sorry let me explain, she had a child in Germany before, then went to America, couldn't take the child with her, had two children there [in America], could only take one child from America.
Gave the child up for adoption that was in Germany because she couldn't take it with her. So she had brought a child into the relationship at the beginning. - David.
Later, more and more contact with the child in America came up. We had also tried contact with the child in Germany, but that just didn't work at all. It didn't fit in the front or back. There was just too much friction and too much problems. It just didn't fit anymore. Everyone has gone his own way or continues on his way.
In any case, more and more contact was made with the son in America who continued to live there. And then he finally came to Germany. And it is now just under the upbringing of my stepmother and my mother.
How old is he?
Michel: He's actually four months older. I am the youngest of them all...
Yes, that's how we grew up. The circle of friends was a big part of our work. It was actually a big part of the family with us. There was always a circle of friends that was permanent. And that also changed less.
And that everyone agreed with each other, so to speak, so municipalities. It was actually some kind of commune. If anyone had a problem, everyone made sure that that problem was resolved.
My mother was, I would say, the focus. She was the mother of the commune to describe it best.
My mother is a very helpy person.
Rather, it is very much the helper. That's how I wanted to put it, helpful, exactly, a very helpful person if not you can even tell her afterwards that she has the helper syndrome. But now she has it under control. But she was real, she helped everyone.
We also had unofficial foster children for me at the time in Bergstrasse. Indeed we always had cases that my sister has brought up, or my brother. They just brought friends with them who had a very difficult social environment at home. And then they lived with us for half a year, nine months. That was always officially clarified with the youth welfare office. My mother just didn't get any money for it.
But the children had a home, and that was the most important thing for my mother to offer a home. My mother managed to take care of everyone without getting any money. And my mother wasn't employed herself. My stepmother had a dog grooming shop that wasn't doing that well either. It ran mediocre, there was never much money, but everyone always had what they needed.
Do your mother and her wife / girlfriend still live together?
Are they married?
Michel: Yes they are married.
Mike: registered civil partnership.
Michel: Yes, registered partnership.
When did they get married or rather entered into a civil partnership?
Michel: Oh god when was that 2008 or something... I don't know exactly when it was. I should know … but I only remember the party. The celebration was nice.
Someone was playing a guitar and it seemed so improvised, but perfect at the same time.
It had such an industrial style. We lived in an office building from a warehouse factory at that time. The factory was right next door and there was an area where we celebrated, it had an industrial style. That just worked really well.
And now are they going to get married?
Michel: That is exactly what will probably happen for the next anniversary. Yes that will take a while. For me, Petra is my mother. I also say mom. I say to her, my stepmother, more like Petra, but also mom every now and then. I feel both like my mother.
At some point it just became more and more normal for me, because after all, I grew up with it at the age of five. And now it's just completely normal. At school it was "like you have two mothers. Eh, that works?" and then you explained that. Of course there is. Yeah, it's totally cool. So I never found out anything negative. There was of course a problem in the above. I think growing up was part of being bullied in order to get stronger. So everything that was negative for me only strengthened me in the end. And yes.
Now you are who you are.
Michel: Yeah, right, now I am who I am.
I have never lost interest in medicine. I always wanted to be an emergency doctor, but I didn't have the energy to do my Abitur [high school diploma]. And now I have job training to be an emergency paramedic. I will finish it soon, now finally! And then I reached my goal.
The first goals of my life in my younger life have been fulfilled. That although the start was quite difficult and what I have told you is only a small fraction.
Yes, there were always problems and there weren't always good times with my mother.
I - puberty hit me pretty hard, and that's how it came about when you think about my past. And then came puberty that caused a total catastrophe in me. I then went to the child therapist and was treated with the maximum number of hours that one could have, even with extreme prolongation and everything possible. Two and a half years is the maximum you can get. And then came group therapy. But that was never an option for me.
And then, at the age of 16, I moved into my own apartment with a family friend from the "commune", I have already described. [He describes the family and friends of the family as close together as they would have a commune].
He had a house, there was a very small apartment downstairs, a room, kitchen, bathroom, the bathroom two square meters, if at all.
But the 2 rooms, the kitchen and the bedroom were big enough. In need of complete renovation. And it came - I have to go back further.- This family-friend was also a kind of father for me. I had a lot of father figures, where I always have the masculine, a masculine voice, there was always one in my upbringing. The clichés are of course now being fulfilled. If a mother can get that across [the father's role], of course, that's not a problem.
But there are always things that a man can explain better to a boy. I just had the caregiver, two caregivers - once my godfather and then this family friend named Gerhard.
And he had a new acquaintance.
I got on really well with the woman he engaged. She had become a mother in that way for me too. I generally, very quickly, close people in my heart and then connect them too. And that person suddenly fell into a coma, through a stroke, all of a sudden out of nowhere. Nobody knew and nobody suspected it. Nor there were any signs or anything else. Just a massive stroke and then went into a coma and. Yes, there were situations too, for example I always went to the hospital, to the intensive care unit, and I went to the hospital, then I said the last words to her. I was alone with her room, I said my last words to her and then said goodbye. The next day I wanted to visit her again. And that's when the family decided to turn off the machine. Nobody had told me that and I sat there for 5 hours and waited and at some point I got the call "you should come home, we have to tell you something" and it was already over. Then there was the funeral and Gerhard was maximally finished. She was a big lover to him, if not the greatest, although I don't want to say the greatest. After all, he also had a wife and his children, and he had had the wife much longer.
But it hit him very hard, and then I just moved in with him in his apartment, in the house he had, and helped him with everyday situations. I cooked with him, took care of phone bills so that something was wrong, and called for him, et cetera.
We just lived together, supported each other, and then the apartment became vacant, and then I refurbished it in the meantime. And then it was my first apartment of my own, and I got along with less than Hartz IV, about half of it, monthly. My mother gave me massive support. But it was always difficult and then I finished school.
Then I did the rescue worker job training. I was doing volunteer work in DRK. I was active
everywhere, did something everywhere and had a cleaning job besides attending school and volunteering for the DRK. I went cleaning for a family, more likely with a couple from the circle of friends who had their own company to finance my tuition so that my grades are good. And yes.
That was just the way it was on the whole. I kept working my way up. I was then deputy director for my DRK regional group, when I was 18, I was just 18 for a day. It was already clear before I was 18 that I would be the deputy director. I was very active in the DRK, did a lot, organized a lot. But that was what broke me in the end. And then I got job training, and then my illness came along. I have fibromyalgia, and I have a flare-up like that, and I had a massive flare-up and couldn't hold a glass of water or anything and I was afraid for my education and my existence. Then I resigned from all my offices, and so the spiral went backwards and forwards, so that I came to the clinic, and then I was completely rebuilt. Now I am going to do everything in peace and again. That was the story of my life.
And of course you have to say I met him [looks to Mike] here, he also saved my life several times.